Respect the Line Between Employees and Friends

For many people, it's tough to control the heart -- or the inner heat, where a person allows his emotions to hijack his good sense. It's hard for people in the working world not to seek friendships in the workplace, because we spend more time at the office than we do with family and friends outside the office.

I can tell you, though, that in the first 10 years I was in business, I stepped over the line between boss and employee numerous times, only to regret it and have to terminate the employee. The sense of betrayal on their faces was, I'm sure, the same look that my mentor's former head of R&D had when he was let go. Here are 10 areas I have learned to avoid so as not to cross the line.

1. Birthday parties: I have been invited to employee birthday parties and weddings. I politely decline and send a gift.

2. Sporting events: The only times I go to games with employees is if we are buying group tickets as a way to reward employees, or if we are taking out clients.

3. Meals: I will have lunch with an employee to discuss a business matter, but I won't have lunch just to socialize. I never do dinner unless it is with a client or a prospective client.

4. Personal problems: I am not a social worker, and I am not my employees' parents. A big problem with handling personal problems is that you become too involved. The employee calls your home and shows up late, thinking you will understand. Eventually, other employees resent your preferential treatment without knowing the good deed you are trying to do.

5. Physical activities: Golfing, jogging, tennis and biking are very personal activities. Bonds are developed. Personal thoughts and problems are shared.