How to Ask for a Raise

To combat your fear of being replaced, remember how it costs employers a lot of productivity (money) to find new employees. All other things being equal, it's worth a salary bump or seniority boost for most bosses to keep you around.

So keep your evidence coming (any specific examples of your productivity, including charts or lists of new projects you've initiated, are excellent fodder), but above all, remain friendly. The goal is not to remain merely polite, but warm -- and not just because it keeps your boss off guard.

If you allow your boss's posturing to upset your warm regard for him or the company, it can hinder the relationship. On the other hand, if you maintain your best, most charming characteristics, the Old Salt will go the extra mile to keep you happy. It's a game, so play along. The boss is just doing his job, keeping costs down. If he didn't do that, his own salary would be on the line.

The ultimate preparation is to calm yourself. Practice and role-play with nonwork friends, not colleagues, until you can get through any number of scenarios without raising your heart rate. Visualize success. Assume the attitude that your boss wants to help, but realize that he's got to have exactly the right ammunition to make achieving your goal OK with his bosses.

As you negotiate, keep coming back to the mantra of etiquette: Your boss is perfect in every way, so practice being flattering and funny. The last thing you want is to win the negotiation but sour the relationship. Alternately, if it's just not working out this time around, save your ammunition for the next.

And when you do get the raise you were aiming for, for business' sake, keep it to yourself. You don't want rub salt in any wounds.