College: How I Got the Most Out of My Parents' Investment

My brother Scott starts college Friday. This is about the time of year when graybeards everywhere feel free to spout a lot of nonsense about the college experience to their children and everyone else's kids as well.

I always thought I took their advice with a container or two of salt, but eventually they got to me. I became really excited about going to college. I wish I hadn't.

The last time I saw my younger brother, he described his school to me and what he hoped to do there. He had the same look of thrilled anticipation on his face that I must've worn before I got myself a higher education.

If he were anyone else, I probably would have said whatever was necessary to get him at least mildly upset about going to college. But he's my brother, so I gave him some advice from the perspective of a recent graduate, which amounted to almost the same thing.

Then I taught him how to smoke cigarettes in order to relieve his concerns about being unable to smoke and embarrassing himself if anyone ever offered him a cigarette at school (relax, he's 19). I liked my advice so much that I'm sharing it with you, but feel free to consider it as valuable as my brother's smoking lesson.