Cramer's 'Mad Money' Recap: Are You Cut Out to Own Stock?

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"Why not just start up the sell block?" Jim Cramer asked viewers of his "Mad Money" show Thursday, his first show since returning from vacation.

"I'm not going to just say you should take some profits and enjoy the strength of this market. Because while I was on vacation, I heard some things that made me freak out."

Cramer said that while he was trying to relax on the beach, people kept coming up to him and telling him more reasons why he should panic. "This is frightening stuff!" he said.

For example, about the subprime explosion, he heard: "It's not going to stop until it destroys everything in its path."

Cramer also heard that interest rates could hit back to 5.25%, or even 5.5%.

Surely He Jests?

As for housing, Cramer said, "I mean, I'm talking about going from horrible to catastrophic.

"I really and truly believe that the sky is falling and the world is coming to an end," Cramer said. "It's time to kiss the market goodbye. It's time to sell everything!"

"Make sure you get a shot of my fingers crossed behind my back," he said. "I'm actually being sarcastic."

"Let's forget about putting the market in the sell block," he said. But Cramer cautioned that if anything he'd just said "made you scared enough to sell, I've got some real bad news for you: Maybe you're just not cut out to buy stocks. ... Maybe you shouldn't be in this game."