Not About Making Friends, It's About Spending Money

Even though I can't stop blowing my own cash on extravagant purchases -- in hindsight, maybe I really did need a $2,000 stereo system in the 150-square-foot trash can I called home junior year -- it turns out that I'm great at telling other people what to do.

I have it on good authority from everyone who's ever borrowed more than a couple hundred bucks from me that I know what I'm doing, and that actually includes a couple of people who still aren't knee-deep in debt to me.

The only time one of my friends/debtors missed a payment was also the only time I'd ever lent someone money without whipping out my legal pad and trying to take over every single aspect of, in this case, her life.

She's going to remain nameless because she still owes me over two grand, but she's the exception that proves the rule. She's also the reason I had to cut back on my loans to women; I assure you, my reasoning was chivalrous, not sexist.

When my old roommate Dan tried to weasel out of paying me back on time, there was nothing to stop me from throttling him -- he's a little guy -- until he changed his mind.

That's where I'm coming from when I tell you to forget about trying to save money. If you're in college and don't have any income, this is a nonissue. But if you've been fending for yourself for a few years or you're about to start your first legitimate job, then you probably feel compelled to save.

I can't begin to count the number of times I've read that "it's never too early to start saving for 'fill in the blank.' " That's not true. If you're in your early 20s and working at an entry-level job, it's too early to start saving for anything.