Funny Money: Private Eyes ... Who's Watching?

In a related story, Americans buy more clothes online now. The risk of ordering the wrong size has diminished since everyone now fits one size: Tarp.

In other dot.com developments, several states have accused News Corp.'s MySpace unit of failing to protect children from sex offenders. Personally, I blame the parents. Specifically, the parents of Tom, who created MySpace, thereby inventing sin. Jerk.

To protect those children serving in the armed forces, the government has prohibited service members from using MySpace and YouTube. Sure, wouldn't want them to see how little attention we're paying to their plight, or to watch videos of what they're really fighting for. Cats playing piano! To arms!!

Two Siemens execs were found guilty of bribery by a German court. Hey, corruption is an American thing. I guess before Daimler dumped us, we tainted their bloodline. Who's impure now, Germany?

Dubai International became one of the largest shareholders of Deutsche Bank this week. What? Dubai has control of our Germans! Outrageous.

Shareholders at AMR voted against restricting executive pay. Is it possible that large blocks of shares are controlled by groups and funds that include CEOs at other companies who may not want to set a precedent? Or am I just bitter again because I live in Queens with my clean, unsexy, no-money?

A study by the McKinsey Global Institute said that energy standards will be needed to create new environmentally sound products. Hmm, the free market does not provide incentives to create public goods that have limited profit potential. Hey, McKinsey Group, why do you hate freedom?