Funny Money: Private Eyes ... Who's Watching?

In related news, Bausch & Lomb agreed to a $4.5 billion private buyout. Now even producers of dangerous eye drops are private. What's next, KKR buying Faulty Wiring & Oily Rags in the Basement, Inc.?

Private equity's growth has been driven by the funds of pensions and workers. Cool, pensions paying to break up unions. I like it.

Actually, Ron Gettelfinger, head of the UAW, said he had no problem with the deal, but he did need help loading several canvas bags marked with dollar signs onto a chartered flight to Fiji.

Daimler and Cerberus both pledged to invest $1.2 billion in Chrysler's pension fund, adding, "As far as you know." No, no, no, they'll invest in the pension, and then the pension will invest in remodeling their Italian villas. Synergy restored.

Side note: Normally American companies rid themselves of foreign failures. Is this reverse trend a sign of trouble, should we be concerned about... Hey! What happened last night on Grey's Anatomy?

Speaking of TV, broadcast networks had their upfronts this week. Once again, Jeff Kreisler: Guy With no Purpose was not picked up. Come on, TV! It's a can't-miss reality-crime-comedy-infotainment-celebrity-self-improvement-trivia-game-drama. Kids will love it.

Meanwhile, the AFL-CIO asked the SEC to delay a planned $4 billion IPO from the Blackstone Group, saying the private-equity colossus should have to register and be regulated as an investment company. The SEC responded by saying, "AFL-what, CI-who? Never heard of 'em."