How to Manage Up

If you always have a smile and a salutatory prayer for your boss, he will be happy to see you. He may even find a reason to say hello when he needs a lift. Being a boss is harder than it looks, you know.

So be aware of his moods and energy levels. If you do have to approach with a question or a problem, try doing it when the boss is revving a little slower than usual. One good time is in the afternoon right after lunch, or following a particularly slow meeting. Find reasons to thank and compliment specific gestures of leadership, then listen with your full attention. That is, do not interrupt, yawn or look at your watch.

Careful Aim

Masters of business relationships keep notes on their best customers, so you should do the same with your bosses.

It's a form of taking interest in them, which is, in effect, in your own best interest. Great waiters know their regulars' favorite dishes and wines, so in conversation, take note of your boss's favorite dishes and whines. Chat with him about his hobbies -- even if it's about a sports team you despise. Learn to like it, or if you're a Red Sox fan, at least be entertaining about your lack of respect for the Yankees. Share his pet peeve, if possible, and definitely adopt his favorite sense metaphors when explaining something to him.

As some firms say, it's not the product, it's the relationship. So no matter how well you do your job, you might not keep it unless you perform at least as well at managing your emotional intelligence in the workplace. Remember, employees who pray to the boss-god together, stay together.

>To order reprints of this article, click here: Reprints