The Trickle-Down Etiquette Effect

Editor's note: Welcome to our new weekly column on business etiquette. If you have a pressing question for Miss Conduct, please send her an email.

The key to graciousness is to treat everyone exactly alike, as if each were your best customer -- or your boss.

Nothing greases the wheels more than pampering someone's ego. It doesn't even take money (a smile, compliment or kind word can do the trick), but it pays off now, and it provides dividends later. It's the best kind of investment -- a sure thing. Unlike, say, bets against global warming.

And so, Miss Conduct's Basic Rules of Etiquette:

1. Treat everyone as if they were your boss.
2. Your boss is perfect in every way.
3. Always be entertaining. If you can't be funny, then flatter, even if it involves creative application of the truth.

Rule One

Miss Conduct's first rule, "Treat everyone as if they were your boss," is just a gloss on the Golden Rule, in which we strive to treat everyone the way we'd like to be treated. Naturally, everyone likes to be in charge (as long as it's not payday). Therefore, Miss Conduct strives to conduct herself so that no one fires her -- at least that's her story, and she's sticking to it.

If grace is a swan gliding across a pond, the work to remain gracious is all hidden. Just beneath the surface, the swan paddles along underwater as fast and powerfully as possible.

Similarly, treating everyone as if they were your boss can keep you on your toes as you weigh loyalties, balance egos and keep priorities straight.

But in a world where everything is instantly searchable and archived until the cows come home (or the swans hybridize themselves out of existence due to global warming), a little extra work can keep you afloat that much longer. Just ask the celebrities and CEOs who've had to hire extra PR flaks because their bad tips are archived on a disgruntled waiter's blog.

The extra effort to make like a swan decreases the odds that anyone will flip you the bird.