Funny Money: You Know I'm Getting Silly in '07

Amgen will buy a heart drug option. Since the drug's benefits are unknown, I expect Johnson & Johnson and Boston Scientific to somehow be involved in an irrational bidding war.

Starbucks joined the list of those removing trans fats from its stores. Luckily, trans fats can fall back on their day job: dressing up like overweight women. Trans... Fats... Hello? Is this thing on?

Geico struck a deal with the Port Authority to "sponsor" the George Washington Bridge. Commercializing the name of our first president: so easy a caveman could do it. But there is good news: I saved a bunch of money by switching to EZPass. Oh look, a talking lizard!

Samsung plans to release a huge, 60-inch plasma TV so that, no matter what's on, you cannot watch your children grow.

Looking ahead, the Detroit auto show opens next week with a special "Future of American Automakers" exhibit: a dirty guy selling pencils from a tin cup.

In related news, Ford is leaving the minivan market, because "Now that the American population is aging, why would we want to sell a vehicle for an older demographic? That would, like, make us money. We don't do that."

GM's sales fell for the seventh straight year. Hey, at least it's being consistent.

The plan to save the auto industry: one car, $100 billion, daring Donald Trump to buy it.