Maven: Pfizer's Future

But, hey, we're talking business tactics here, not taste, so I was willing to give Barron's a one-time pass, especially after getting caught up in the excitement of this next line: "Yet investors have a chance to turn Pfizer's flop into a hit for their portfolios."

Do tell, do tell! And that, unfortunately, is where Barron's told. "Investors with a little patience may embrace Pfizer as a value play, assuming the company accelerates cost cuts, hikes its dividend and [my emphasis] cuts more deals with other drug makers to fill the gap in its pipeline created by torcetrapib's demise."

Let's graciously overlook the fact that it is not always so easy to cut thousands of jobs while you are simultaneously hiking a dividend beyond tomorrow. There is something almost magical about the uselessness of the following line, that all they have to do is make some deals to make up for torcetrapib. Oh, is that all?

This, mind you, is a drug that was supposed to replace Lipitor, the company's major seller, as it comes off patent. We're talking billions of dollars in business over the coming years. And all they have to do to move the stock is find something to replace it!

That's a little like telling a young man that all he needs to do to live a happy life is partner with a good-tempered, supremely attractive and brilliant person, and make a lot of money in a field that he loves that also allows him to take Fridays off. Really, that's all.