The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

5. Raspberry Jam

J.M. Smucker (SJM Quote) will say just about anything to preserve its dignity.

The Orrsville, Ohio, jelly giant jarred Wall Street last Friday with a sticky second-quarter earnings report. The company behind Smucker's, Jif and Crisco missed sales and profit estimates, citing rising oil, wheat and fruit costs.

Worse yet, sales and earnings actually dropped from a year ago. For the second quarter ended Oct. 31, net income slid to $45.5 million from $46.4 million last year. Sales slipped to $605 million from $606 million a year earlier.

Yet despite the declines, co-CEO Tim Smucker's summary verged on the syrupy.

"Despite escalating raw-material costs," he said in a press release last Friday morning, "we delivered earnings growth consistent with our sales growth."

Way to lay it on thick, guys.

Dumb-o-Meter score: 68. At least they don't hate peanut butter.