The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

2. Blistering Bristol

Bristol-Myers (BMY Quote) knows a serious competitive threat when it sees one.

This week the New York-based drugmaker unfurled the terms of former chief Peter Dolan's golden parachute. Bristol agreed to pay Dolan $1.2 million in severance and $9.5 million in pension benefits for his 18 years of service, such as they were.

Bristol shares dropped more than 40% over Dolan's five years as CEO, as accounting scandals, pipeline worries and legal settlements rattled Wall Street.

But even by Dolan's standards, 2006 stood out. Bristol booted Dolan in September after a botched patent settlement put Bristol back in the government's crosshairs.

Dolan's clear-eyed plan involved paying Canada's Apotex to keep its generic version of the bestselling Plavix blood thinner off the market for five years. But state attorneys general quickly blocked the deal, noting that regulators had warned Bristol about potentially anticompetitive moves. The FBI raided Dolan's office.

Apotex even got to keep the money and to sell its generic drug for a few weeks, until Bristol and partner Sanofi (SNY Quote) won an injunction. By that time, though, Apotex had shipped so many pills to wholesalers that sales of branded Plavix fell 43% in the latest quarter.

It's with the Apotex masterstroke in mind that Bristol must have set the tough terms of Dolan's "involuntary termination." Under one provision, Bristol sternly advises, "Mr. Dolan will not receive a bonus for 2006 performance." Under another, he "will be retained as a consultant to the chief executive officer" at the rock bottom cost to Bristol shareholders of just $50,000 a month, plus expenses.

And knowing how rare his brand of gimlet-eyed leadership is, Bristol has Dolan pledging "not compete with the company for a period of one year."

As if any other drug company would have him.

Dumb-o-Meter score: 88. Fortunately, needy Dolan "will have access to retiree medical benefits which after age 55 will be on a partially subsidized basis."