The Maven: Hazard Duty on Hewlett-Packard

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With its ear to the ground of the retail world, Women's Wear Daily reports this morning that deals for both Eddie Bauer and Foot Locker (FL - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) could close within a week.

With their ear to the ground of, well, themselves, the Hewlett-Packard (HPQ - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) circus rolled into Washington for the predictable cheap brand of melodrama, with Mark Hurd proving that you could go through the motions of accepting blame, and fool about half the next morning's headline writers.

Why is this important for investors? Well, class, as The Business Press Maven has taught you since time immemorial, if there is a spread between headlines and reality, the gap is reflected in stock prices, and that gap will eventually close. Here, Hurd, who in my hardly humble opinion will not last as CEO, has emerged, falsely as, someone who told the truth and wisely.

Truman vs. Simpson

For anyone who actually watched the testimony (note to my editors: that was combat duty, and I want a raise) with a critical eye, Hurd was a grand mix of Harry Truman ("The buck stops here") and Bart Simpson ("I didn't do it, nobody saw me, can't prove it").

Said Hurd, channeling Truman: "I'm responsible for H-P," but the buck -- or the statement -- did not stop there. He then shifted blame, conjuring Bart: "Patti was the chairman. Responsibility goes across the entire company ... including myself."

Translation: "It was my fault except it was really Patti's fault and I guess I'm sort of kind of culpable along with the thousands of other people who work where I do."