Funny Money
Pfizer is selling its consumer products division to focus on its most profitable business, creating disease to sell cures, err, I mean, prescription drugs. If only Listerine caused high cholesterol... and Lipitor caused bad breath... they could package a Listerine-Lipitor Double L cycle of doom.
Actually, Pfizer was served with papers in two lawsuits involving Lipitor. Apparently one of the side-effects from the drug is litigiousness. Donald Trump is planning a casino on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, because if there's anything the hurricane ravaged region needs right now, it's more hot air. Couldn't he just let them use his toupee to rebuild the levees? Investors in Enron -- or, should I say, past investors in the company formerly know as Enron -- are now filing court papers against the company's law firm, Vinson & Elkins. First, they come for the accountants, then the executives, the lawyers and then... for YOU. Bwahahahahahaaa! Enron executive Kevin Howard claims jurors in his trial swapped votes, which would explain why there were 9 votes for guilty, 1 for not-guilty, and 2 for Ralph Nader. Best Buy reported HUGE profits, mostly on sales of flat-panel televisions, because everyone is destined to own a large TV. That was first decreed in the Magna Carta. Or was that the Kama Sutra? I get those confused.TheStreet Premium Services
Jim Cramer's Action Alerts PLUS:
Trade right alongside a Wall Street pro — enjoy access to his Charitable Trust portfolio and be sent trade alerts BEFORE he makes a move. Learn More
OptionsProfits:
Get 50+ trade ideas a week from the industry's top options experts. Plus — exclusive commentary on market trends and essential trading tools. Learn More
Real Money:
Our team of professional Wall Street Pros — including Jim Cramer, Doug Kass, and Nicholas Vardy — delivers intelligent analysis, timely trade ideas, and colorful commentary. Learn More
Stocks Under $10:
Break into the market with small- and mid-cap stocks... all $10 or less! David Peltier tells you exactly which low-priced stocks he's buying and selling. Learn MoreTo begin commenting right away, you can log in below using your Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, OpenID or Yahoo login credentials. Alternatively, you can post a comment as a "guest" just by entering an email address. Your use of the commenting tool is subject to multiple terms of service/use and privacy policies - see here for more details.
blog comments powered by Disqus
| Dow Jones | S&P 500 | NASDAQ | 10-Year Note |
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12,419.86 | 1,313.32 | 2,837.36 | 16.25 |
Oil *
103.00
|
|
DOWN
160.83 |
DOWN
19.10 |
DOWN
33.63 |
DOWN
1.06 |
10 Yr
1.62%
SPDR Gold
151.91
|
|
-1.28%
|
-1.43%
|
-1.17%
|
-6.12%
|
Data delayed 20 minutes |
Connect with TheStreet