The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

4. Tribune's Liquid Diet

If his big buyback plan doesn't work out, maybe Tribune (TRB Quote) chief Dennis FitzSimons can get a job on Wall Street. He certainly knows the lingo.

Two weeks ago the Chicago-based newspaper giant said it would borrow some money to buy back a huge hunk of stock. Tribune also set plans to sell assets and cut more costs in a bid to boost its flagging shares, which are down more than 25% over five years.

The moves "reflect our strong belief that Tribune's current share price does not adequately reflect the fundamental value and long-term earnings prospects of the company's businesses," FitzSimons said in a May 30 press statement. "They also allow us to optimize our capital structure while maintaining financial flexibility."

That sounds optimal indeed. But this week a filing showed that three directors opposed FitzSimons' plan when it came up for a vote. The Wall Street Journal reports that the Tribune board has been considering a possible spinoff of broadcast assets, too.

The developments left Tribune defending the buyback plan, which "was approved by a clear majority of its board of directors as being in the best interests of all shareholders," the company said Thursday.

Surprisingly, Tribune's plan seems to be in the best interests even of shareholders who don't want to be shareholders anymore. "This tender offer allows the company to return value to shareholders who may be seeking some liquidity," Tribune explains, using a favorite euphemism for selling.

Don't worry, though. We're sure all the sellers are just diversifying their portfolios for tax-planning purposes.

Dumb-o-Meter score: 82. We can't imagine anyone views Tribune as a "source of funds" -- another Wall Street term for selling.