Funny Money: Incompetence Trumps Stupidity

In legal news, the Wrigley company sued Hershey for infringing on a patent for "chewing gum containing physiological cooling agents" leaving open the option to copy "explosive goodness schematics" and "diabolical yum-yum-yummy-ness."

There's been a tentative settlement in a dispute involving Plavix, which is the world's second-best selling drug. The best selling drug? Television.

A judge kept alive a suit seeking millions for volunteer community leaders who ran AOL chat rooms. Ah, the good old-fashioned definition of community and volunteerism: "I want my share."

Enron's former treasurer testified this week that Ken Lay lied about the company's finances. In response, defense attorneys asked, "jurorswho'llvotetoacquitsaywhat?" The jury seemed confused and said, "what?"

Note to CEOs everywhere: If you can't do the white-collar time (i.e. golfing without a caddy), don't do the white-collar crime.

Speaking of criminal, The WB has censored itself out of fear of FCC action, proving, once again, that Big Brother has no taste. The WB? Who cares? So an obscene scene won't be seen (Yeah, I did it) by the upwards of six people who actually watch the WB? Whoop de damn do. Nice legacy, Michael Powell.

Finally, Ben Bernanke suggested that the Fed pay more attention to global conditions, crippling the minds of government officials unfamiliar with the concept.