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The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

With The Associated Press reporting that the ailing airline industry could lose up to $3 billion in revenue annually if these fare changes were widely adopted, we're reminded of one of the early scenes in the Clint Eastwood movie Dirty Harry.

Specifically, we recall the scene in which Clint Eastwood's Harry Callahan, chatting with a man who's threatening to jump off a building, explains to the man the big problem, as Callahan sees it, with suicide jumpers: When they jump, they grab hold of whoever's nearby to bring them along.

We wonder if that's Delta's strategy here, as far as the other nonbankrupt air carriers are concerned: If we're going down, we're taking you with us. Talk about flying United.

5. Bok Choy to the World

Over the past month or so on Wall Street, the usual dog-eat-dog atmosphere was all Peace on Earth and Good Will Toward Men.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

By our account, the Spirit of Human Kindness on Wall Street officially ended Monday evening, Jan. 3.

And how did we pick that evening as the close of the holiday season? Well, it has something to do with what happened that night to's ace options reporter Steve Smith .

Heading homeward after a long day of writing about Wall Street on Wall Street, Smith headed into a subway station carrying a plastic bag full of groceries: a little bit of salmon, a little bit of shrimp and a whole lot of bok choy.

Seeing a train waiting with its doors open, Smith jumped aboard -- but neither quickly enough, nor far enough into the train car to pull his bag completely aboard. The train doors closed, leaving Smith and the bag's handle on one side, but the bok choy on the other.

Bok, Stock and Barrel
Smitty's subway vegetable straddle

Now, stuck bags are a common occurrence on New York City trains. The standard procedure is for people on either side of the doors to push them apart a little, or for the conductor to jog the doors, giving the bag-holder a chance to drag the bag inside.

So what happened to Smith and his bag? Why, a friendly-looking fellow on the subway platform walked over to the closed doors and grabbed the groceries -- leaving Smith bagless and bok choyless on the inside of the train.

Yes, we hoped that that holiday spirit on Wall Street would last forever. But just like the options that Smith writes about, it has an expiration date.
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