The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

Nothing to Fear but...

3. A Roosevelt by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet

Speaking of last-minute goodbyes, Conrad Black knows when he's not welcome. Sort of.

Black, you may remember, controls Hollinger (HLGUF Quote), a company which in turn controls publisher Hollinger International (HLR Quote).

This past Tuesday, the Canadian press baron, who has been accused of looting $400 million from Hollinger International, was facing a court hearing on the subject of kicking him out of Hollinger, the parent company.

Just as the hearing began, however, Black resigned.

Nyah, nyah! You can't fire me, 'cause I quit.

Of course, it isn't that simple. Lord Black still controls 78% of Hollinger and is trying to take the company private.

Black is also a guy who evidently believes history will prove him the aggrieved hero in all this.

As the sharp-eared Toronto Star sagely noted, in a speech last week about Franklin Delano Roosevelt -- on whose memorabilia Black has been accused of inappropriately spending company money -- Black noted that it took nearly 60 years to "liberate FDR from the clutches of his idolaters, his detractors, and even his mere chroniclers."

As for rescuing Lord Black from the clutches of his own detractors, we suspect another 60 years will be necessary.

4. Disney Is Sick Ovitz All

So you're the CEO of a major corporation. You're about to hire a new president from outside the company -- a guy who could conceivably succeed your CEO at a place where succession planning is a major concern -- since the last president died recently in a helicopter crash.

Do you conduct formal board meetings before you hire the guy?

And let's say you decide to get rid of that new president one year later. Does the board meet on the subject before your CEO grants the president a no-fault termination, one now valued at $140 million?

Well, as we learned this week, if you're a member of Disney's (DIS Quote) board in the mid-1990s, the answer is no. When Michael Eisner hired and fired Michael Ovitz, that's pretty much how things went.

What a Michael Mouse way to run a business, is all we can say.

5. The Sign of the Ford

We wish we could feel as encouraged as the folks at Ford (F Quote).

Issuing its monthly sales numbers on Wednesday, the carmaker quoted a marketing exec as saying, "We're very encouraged by the early dealer and consumer response to our new products."

But we note that overall October unit sales were down 5% year over year. This after they were down 4% in September. And down 13% in August. And down 4% in July.

You see a pattern here?

Market share has been improving over the past few months, says Ford. But year over year, market share is in decline.

"We have our sights set on stronger retail sales in the months ahead," says Ford.

That's good, because they sure aren't in the months behind.