The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

The publicist and Walsh's lawyers insist that what Walsh pleaded guilty to was not fraud. Evidently, if you're a director and you hide -- from both shareholders and fellow directors -- $20 million in fees you've received for a deal your company has done, that's not fraud. Apparently, it's a violation of New York's general business law.

Oh, just shut up. Shut up. Go away.

Makes us wonder how far Paul Tetu could have gone if only he had some professional legal help.

4. Do We Decimal?

SEC Chairman William Donaldson dropped a bomb this week when he told CNBC he wanted to reconsider the market's transition from fractional share prices to decimalization.

"I think the whole issue of decimalization needs to be looked at," Donaldson told Ron Insana.

"The total cost of transactions, I suspect, has increased. And I suspect the liquidity that used to be in the market ... has been severely dampened by these very narrow spreads. And I think that the whole issue really needs to be looked at.

Stop, Chairman Donaldson! This might help the stock market's liquidity, but do you have any idea how it will tax the brains of all the English-majors-turned-reporters who are covering the market? Have you ever tried to subtract 1 7/8 from 20 1/16 with nothing more than a liberal arts education?

We at the lab are sure that we could pass the hat among all the business journalists in America and come up with, oh, $20 million in undisclosed payments for keeping the status quo. It wouldn't be a bribe, of course. What it would be is, well, uh ... we'll just have our publicist get back to you on that one.

5. Will You Blair Your Soul for the Camera?

As you've no doubt heard, the reputation of The New York Times(NYT Quote) has suffered some serious damage this week, thanks to the fabrications of ex-reporter Jayson Blair and their aftershocks.