Shrink Rap: Trauma, Traipsing and Trading

Since thought associations often are accompanied by fleeting images while meditating, the ability to visualize images clearly and retain these snapshots tends to improve the longer you practice. This is desirable if the images are neutral or positive and you're trying to use them for insight. But it may be counterproductive if you're struggling with traumatic flashbacks, brief dissociative states or acute anxiety as part of your symptoms.

Because of this, my recommendation is that you don't engage in a closed-eyed form of meditation practice.

Traipsing

One way you might work around this is to begin by practicing a very slow walking meditation from the Buddhist Vipassana tradition. You'll feel like you're in super-slow motion, and it requires some practice just to keep your balance. The simple instruction is to make a mental note of each movement of your foot, just as you're performing it.

With each step, you would silently note, "lifting" as you lift your foot, "moving" as your foot moves forward and "placing" as your foot touches the ground. This method is a good way to calm yourself and center your awareness on sensation, thereby avoiding flights of mental fantasy, including flashbacks.

A second recommendation, to complement the walking meditation (but only after you're able to stay with it for at least 15 minutes daily for a few weeks) would be to try an open-eyed form of meditation more in the Zen tradition, where the eyes are kept slightly open as you cast your gaze downward toward the floor.

Trading

Regardless of whether you try these forms of meditation, you may find that any high-arousal activities, such as trading, will increase the odds of re-experiencing your symptoms.

Because stressful activities may conjure up images from your trauma, consider limiting your trading activity to manageable chunks of time rather than sitting for the whole market session on a daily basis. In addition, during these periods of trading, periodically take deep breaths to help release tension and take short breaks from the monitor.

I would also suggest physical exercise regularly to help cope with your stress and any possible depression. Another nonmeditative aid to concentration would be reading moderately difficult material and trying to stay with it for growing periods of time without a major distraction. You don't mention taking medication, but depending on the severity of your relapses, this might be a useful stress-management tool as well.

Whatever combination of these methods you choose, go into them with your eyes open.