The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

As much as we would pay good money to see Maria Bartiromo riding to work on a bicycle, we're not happy about the impending mess. So we were less than thrilled this week to learn that a car dealership lobbying group was crowing about the Jan. 1 phaseout of the auto luxury tax.

Extremely excited about the expiration is AIADA, a self-described "lobbying and communications force" for dealerships selling "international nameplate brands," or what we still quaintly call "foreign cars." AIADA -- members of which include dealers of Ford's (F - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) Jaguar, Land Rover and Aston Martin, General Motors' (GM - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) Saab and DaimlerChrysler's (DCX - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) Mercedes-Benz -- is dancing on the soon-to-be-filled burial plot of what it calls "an unfair tariff that has plagued American consumers, families, and small businesses for years."

OK, OK. We at the Research Lab recognize that it's every American's right to try to shift the cost of running the government onto someone else. We are also mindful of the patriotic value of spending money so as to support the living of other Americans who import, manufacture or sell luxury cars.

But understand why we might not be sympathetic here. As it stands, this vile levy amounts to 3% of a car's purchase price over $40,000. Thus, somebody plunking down $45,500 for a new Lexus GX will have to spend $165 extra for their new sport utility vehicle.

Gosh! Our hearts bleed for you!

Yes, as we trudge through the cold Monday morning during our new two-hour, public-transportation-free commute, we'll remember to feel the pain of people who have to haggle with their dealer over who pays the $1,300 luxury tax on their $84,000 Maserati Spyder.

Then, as we trudge homeward we'll reflect on AIADA's current crusade to eliminate unfairness in the U.S. tax code: the elimination of what it calls the "death tax," or what we usually term inheritance taxes. Now, the funny thing about that one is that the anti-"death tax" folks usually couch their arguments in terms of preserving small businesses, the lifeblood of the nation, blah blah blah. But, thanks to AIADA, we see what's really the goal here: Let's help Junior to grieve for Pop by tooling around town in a Bentley.

3. Uhura Today, Klingon Tomorrow?

What do you get when you cross Star Trek with a business-school professor?

Why, you get Robert Kozinets -- an assistant professor of marketing at Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management, a Star Trek memorabilia collector and an anthropologist who has written about the semiotics of Wal-Mart (WMT - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) and the utopian yearnings of Star Trek fan communities.