The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

1. I'm a Man of Wealth and Taste

Not that we're ever shy about patting ourselves on the back, but we at the Five Dumbest Things Research Lab are particularly proud of our work this week.

And why, you may ask, are we running the victory lap around the Bunsen burners? Why are the lab assistants dancing the hora in the break room?

Glad you asked. It's because, despite the hundreds of articles published this week about the resignation of Securities and Exchange Commission chairman Harvey Pitt, we managed to do some original research on the subject.

Yes, we guarantee that nowhere in the world have you read what you are about to read about Pitt. We stake our reputation on that claim.

Here goes.

As you likely know if you've read any article about Pitt in the last week or so, one of the accusations that dogged him is that he's politically tone-deaf. Though he's a high-powered lawyer and all, he has no clue as to how to make the right impression inside the Beltway.

Exhibit A in this argument, of course, is Pitt's alleged delay in disclosing to his fellow commissioners evidence suggesting that accounting oversight board nominee William Webster couldn't properly oversee a single company's books. Considering that the accounting board is supposed to oversee the books of every publicly traded company in the nation, no doubt the other commissioners would have wanted to chew that news over before they voted on Webster's appointment, not after.

Anyway, what we at the research lab have uncovered is Exhibit B: evidence of Pitt's haplessness when it comes to proper functioning in Washington. And here's the delicious thing about the evidence: It's right there in plain sight. Millions of people, including yourself, probably saw it. And nobody noticed it but us.

In fact, you don't have to read too far down in his resignation letter to see the proof of Pitt's shaky political bearings. The first four words will do: "My dear Mr. President:"

"My dear Mr. President"??? What's with that? Who writes "my dear" anybody in a letter anymore, except the occasional proud grandma in a note to her grandson? To us, that seems like a strange way to open a letter to the president.

But, we being researchers and all, we decided to check.