The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

1. Who Says Americans No Longer Idolize Wall Street?

Most of the time, people come to Wall Street to find their fortune. But this week, they came for the fame.

See, for some reason we never bothered to figure out, the producers of the American Idol TV series decided to hold their New York-area open auditions for the show's second edition at the Regent Wall Street, a hotel standing a mere block away from the New York Stock Exchange. And the Five Dumbest Things Research Lab, for that matter.

So in a public spectacle of demand that would make a publicist for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts (KKD Quote) moist with envy, hopeful auditioners lined up as early as Tuesday for tryouts scheduled to start Thursday morning.

Hey, we've all got our dreams.

In the interests of scientific investigation, we at the Lab decided Wednesday to chat with some of the early birds at the head of the line. What, we wondered, do the Future American Idols of America (FAIOA) think of Wall Street? What could these artistically ambitious newcomers tell us about the materialistically ambitious veterans who've populated the Street for years? And were there any former Internet analysts in line?

Well, the answer on former brokerage analysts was a no. But in fact, it turned out that the first entrant in line, 24-year-old Tricia Brandsen, was formerly an accountant at a Cumulus Media (CMLS Quote) station in Mobile, Ala. Brandsen, who said she dropped the world of finance to pursue a singing career, found it "kind of ironic" that pursuit of her singing career had brought her back to ... the world of finance.

Mony, Mony Baez: Bugging out

Farther on down the line, we met Maria Baez, a pleasant young woman from the Bronx. Up until Wednesday morning, when she got fired for not showing up at work, she was employed by Mony. No, not Mony(MNY Quote) the financial services company, but Mony the local clothing retailer. Before lining up Tuesday night, Baez said her closest brush with Wall Street had been shopping at the Nine West store over on Broadway. So now that she's finally spent some time on Wall Street, what does she think of it?

"There's a lot of water bugs," said Baez. "Yeah, there's a lot of those. I killed, like, five."

High Hopes Lawson: Choked up

Finally we chatted with Richard Lawson, a chiropractor from Vernon, N.J., who was holding a place in line for his 17-year-old daughter. Like many parents saving for their children's college education, Lawson hasn't done too well in the stock market of late. But the cheery chiropractor said he was happy to forgo the money he would have earned at the office had he not chaperoned his daughter. And it's not just the fostering-her-career angle. "It occured to me," said Lawson, "I might be able to get close enough to Morgan Stanley (MWD Quote) to choke my broker."

Hey, we've all got our dreams.