A Holiday Wish, in Spite of It All

Editor's note: Soon after TheStreet.com published Bill Meehan's annual spoof on "The Night Before Christmas," he struck up a correspondence and compared notes with Sandi Lynne, who had penned her own parody of the Clement Clarke Moore poem that year for Money magazine. In that spirit -- and dedicated to the memory of Meehan -- Lynne shares her 2001 version of the poem. Lynne is publisher of WallStreetInAdvance.com, a Web site dedicated to event-driven trading. As always, let us know what you think.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a computer was whirring, no one clicked on a mouse.
The stocks were all hung, all framed with such care,
In memory of splits, worth not a penny to spare.

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,
Visions of Hogwarts dancing 'round in their heads.
The wife read her Journal, the cat purred on my lap,
Side by side on the couch, we checked market caps.

When there on C-1, the "Heard on the Street"
Said in '01, QQQ went down to defeat.
Away to my Barron's in a quick broadband flash,
I tore open MW, to confirm tech's great crash.

The facts of the matter no one could deny,
Distant highs on the Nasdaq could make big boys cry.
A cartoon in the corner gave my eyes a small tear,
Pictured there was a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

The driver's belly looked suspiciously thick,
When you came right down to it, he looked like St. Nick.
Investors held hope for the Santa rally he'd bring,
After a year when just shorts could, and boy did they, sing:

"On Enron! Now @home! Now Pets.com and Flooz!
On ePod! On eToys! On PlanetRx!" Were VCs fools?
To the scrap heap of dot-coms -- one after another you fell.
Where are the analysts who never told us to sell?

As put volume soars, monster rallies are nigh,
It was bond analysts who managed to fly to the sky.
This fall, to the depths, the Nasdaq did sink,
Far below where strategists led us to think.

But then in a twinkling, I heard a small voice,
"Stop your griping," it said, "You're alive, so rejoice."
As I drew in my breath and was turning around,
Harry Potter appeared without making a sound.

With silly glasses so round, spells he unfurled,
People flocked to his film to escape the real world.
Rebates and rate cuts weren't the right fix,
While Congress did splinter, no stimulus plan exists.

Say goodbye to Giuliani, New York's still feeling down,
And Greenspan lost the aura of universal renown.
After years of talking the bull market down,
Success brought recession, and his career nearly drowned.

Forget missed soft landings, accept birth sans silver spoon,
'Cause cash flows and earnings -- not rates -- call the tune.
Now head home for the holidays with spirit and love,
Allied forces are dropping snow-white peace doves.

The FAA has cleared Santa's sleigh on its way,
A brand-new year remains mere days away.
Be happy '01 is about to vanish from sight.
'02 will be better, hopefully free of more frights.

So I close with a reminder: Keep perspective in sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

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