The 5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street: May 16

1. Exxon: One Less Job for CEO Tillerson?

When it comes to quelling shareholder agitation, sometimes all it takes is a well-worded email. At least, that's what Exxon Mobil(XOM Quote) execs must have thought on Tuesday when they emailed their investors, beseeching them to back off from their mounting calls to restructure the oil titan's board and remake its business plan.

Despite Exxon's efforts to grease the skids, Chairman and CEO Rex Tillerson may soon have to pick which of his two jobs he likes better. The oil company faces an onslaught of criticism from a professional posse, including descendants of Exxon patriarch John D. Rockefeller and the proxy firms Glass Lewis and RiskMetrics.

In recent weeks, the Rockefeller spawn have repudiated their family legacy, urging Exxon to more actively pursue alternative energy strategies as well as alternative accountability measures for management.

As John D.'s great-great-grandson Peter O'Neill remarked in an April 30 press release, "Having an independent chairman leading an independent-thinking board of very experienced directors will substantially improve Exxon's ability to look the future squarely in the face and will increase its flexibility. The current members of the board appear to have considerable skills that are not being tapped fully." Which may be a nice way of saying the board has no control.

Last Friday, RiskMetrics jumped on the bandwagon, saying Exxon would benefit from increased board oversight -- the kind that happens when management and the chairman aren't the same person. Then on Tuesday, the proxy firm Glass Lewis advanced the notion that Exxon should set "a pro-shareholder agenda without the management conflicts that a CEO or other executive insiders often face."

Last year's resolution calling for an independent chairman garnered 40% of the shareholder vote. Charles Elson, director of the John L. Weinberg Center for Corporate Governance at the University of Delaware, told The Wall Street Journal that Exxon's "highly unusual" email indicates that the company is genuinely worried about a shakeup.

We don't have long to wait before this verdict comes in. Exxon's annual meeting, complete with fireworks, is slated for May 28.

Dumb-o-Meter score: 95. Next time, send an e-card.