An iPhone: The Best $600 You'll Ever Waste

How does the iPhone stack up when compared to other smartphones? I've had a BlackBerry for 13 months, and not once has a member of the opposite sex ever asked to see it. And it's not like I haven't tried to put myself out there. I spent months with the BlackBerry fastened to my belt for the entire world to see. All it ever brought me was grief in the form of unsolicited email from work.

No one ever stared at my BlackBerry and salivated, which is the standard response when I whip out my iPhone. Instead, my friends told me I looked like a tool until I finally stopped wearing the thing. Once, someone said it was slimming, but I think he was being sarcastic. I've yet to test a Treo, but I'm sure the results would be just as disappointing.

On a more serious note, the BlackBerry was also difficult to use. I could never make it connect to the Internet, although that may have been because my corporate masters didn't feel like paying for the service. With my iPhone, I don't even need to be literate, a definite plus given the massive number of my readers who have accused me of flirting with illiteracy.

I said there were two great reasons to waste your money on an iPhone (obviously, don't finance the thing with credit card debt). The first reason is romance. The second reason: Once you own one you'll no longer feel compelled to read every single excruciating, repetitive story about the iPhone that contains no new information -- like this column -- ever again.