A Complaint Can Be a Gift in Gripes' Clothing

Since she's as much a fool as anyone, last week Miss Conduct explored the unattainable: the art of making a constructive complaint. This week, she attempts the impossible -- accepting one.

If tact is the art of telling someone where to go so well that they actually look forward to the trip, then grace is accepting the itinerary, even if it takes you to Hades and back again.

Unconstructive complaints would seem to be easier to take, mostly because we do not take them -- we dismiss them and the people they rode in on.

However, enlightened businesspeople accept complaints, even ugly ones, as the gifts they really are.

Miss Conduct has noticed that if people don't care about a situation, they don't bother complaining. It's only when they're really engaged with a business that a customer, colleague or other sort of boss cares enough to send their very worst.

So if your biggest boss or best customer (that is, any boss, customer or employee) takes the time to lodge a complaint, you can save yourself untold sums in management consulting fees or career counseling later if you take the time to listen, now. Plus, you might take a really interesting ride.

Steps on the Journey

First of all, if you know you're about to receive a complaint, you'll listen most efficiently if you prepare yourself ahead of time.

Just as when you manage your real boss, manage your new boss -- the complainer -- in the same way.

If you're reading letters of complaint, do it when you're unhurried, maybe after lunch rather than first thing in the morning. If you're taking a phone call, clear your mind to focus entirely on the caller. If you're face to face, exhale slowly (but silently) and adopt a receptive posture.