Short Attention Span Swing Trading

Most folks don't realize that The Daily Show host Jon Stewart got his Comedy Central start almost 17 years ago in an underappreciated show called Short Attention Span Theater. This low-budget gem featured comedy bits that rarely lasted more than 30 seconds.

Tapping into the same vein, I have a thousand market topics in my head, but none of them deserves more than a minute of your valuable time. So without further delay, here are my quick takes on everything market-related on this fine April day.

Apple Computer (AAPL - commentary - Cramer's Take): Its quarterly earnings and outlook were mediocre, but the stock opened four points higher anyway. Honestly, I suspect that Wall Street cheerleaders would find a way to spin the positive on iPod and Mac even if the feds dragged CEO Steve Jobs out in handcuffs.

Crude Oil: It's going to $100 per barrel in the next 12 to 18 months. The real surprise will be when it doesn't stop there, and starts heading for $200 dollars. Unfortunately, it's not a bubble, so put away your history books.

Inflation: Read or watch Jimmy Rogers. He notes that commodity bull markets, once they start, can last for decades. The screaming rally in all types of basic materials began just two years ago and might continue until 2020, and beyond. In the meantime, don't expect cheap interest rates again, ever.

Fed Governors: What they have to say in public rarely counts when they sit down in private and rule the world. So why are the financial media covering every Fed governor speech live these days? We're already suffering from major information overload. It's just bad television.

Tech Rotation: You've got to be kidding, right? There is no great or impending move into tech stocks in 2006. Stop believing in fairy tales.

Market Volatility Index (VIX): Ditch the index. I mean, just rip it out and stop using it entirely. It's obsolete. The markets are more, not less, volatile than they were just a few years ago, but the VIX indicator can't read that because it doesn't understand electronic trading.

Google (GOOG - commentary - Cramer's Take): The long-term chart looks just fine, after the early-year selloff turned out to be a simple correction. This stock should test the rally high at $475 by the summer and then break out into the stratosphere again before year's end.

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Alan Farley is a professional trader and author of The Master Swing Trader. Farley also runs a Web site called HardRightEdge.com, an online resource for trading education, technical analysis and short-term investment strategies. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Farley appreciates your feedback; click here to send him an email. Also, click here to sign up for Farley's premium subscription product The Daily Swing Trade brought to you exclusively by TheStreet.com.

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