Dusting Off the Bear Cap

I don't know how the bears do it. How can they stand this kind of logical market where the Fed says it will allow the economy to continue to expand, so you aren't fighting it; where jobs are on the verge of being created given how stretched the work force is; and most of the retail sales are pretty darned good. Don't forget this is all within the confines of Warren Buffet plunking down $40 billion to buy a railroad, for heaven's sake, and the market actually embracing a high-end hotel chain, Hyatt (H - commentary - Trade Now)! I am aghast.

So, let's go back to work. First, Obama's not stopping with this health care obsession, and Pelosi, the best friend short-sellers have, will generate horrible headlines that sap the American public and freeze hiring. This is a sure-thing bet; you can always count on that tag team to try to bring the stock market down. Remember, Pelosi's already declared that the liberal wing of the Democratic Party won on Tuesday. "From our perspective we won last night," she said yesterday. Deliciously delusional but headline risk galore!

Second, neither Wells Fargo (WFC - commentary - Trade Now) nor Bank of America (BAC - commentary - Trade Now) can get traction, and at any given moment they will spring secondaries on us. Don't forget the nutjob Fed is stoking inflation with those low rates, and so are the Europeans. Only the Indians know what they are doing with that big gold buy. That's affirmation that last night's "Build a Bear" episode of "Mad Money" was spot-on.

Third, let's deal with this weakening retail environment head on: JCPenney (JCP - commentary - Trade Now) and American Eagle (AEO - commentary - Trade Now) tell the truth and the retailers that are up are lying. Target (TGT - commentary - Trade Now) could roll over any minute, and they are all going to get killed by the amazingly overvalued Amazon (AMZN - commentary - Trade Now) after the Zappos deal closes. (I know that this one's a stretch, but I am doing my darned bear best here!) Gap's (GPS - commentary - Trade Now) an outlier. Kohl's (KSS - commentary - Trade Now) was down big today and can return to those levels when the market gets some sense about it. Don't forget CVS (CVS - commentary - Trade Now)! (Conveniently overlooking the Caremark acquisition).

Fourth, the oil futures are down. Just a matter of time before the Oil Services HOLDRS (OIH - commentary - Trade Now) is down, no? I mean, those stocks are like Wile E. Coyote -- off the cliff and not even knowing it.

By the way, pay no attention to the fantastic numbers from Federal Realty (FRT - commentary - Trade Now) or the upgrades -- there's going to be the crash of all crashes in commercial real estate, as witnessed by the Hartford Group's (HIG - commentary - Trade Now) plummeting after those numbers.

Now, circling back to Warren Buffett: Even though Joy Global (JOYG - commentary - Trade Now) said that Chinese coal demand will exceed that of the U.S., meaning that even though Burlington Northern (BNI - commentary - Trade Now) may be the best play off of coal transport, we still have to say the master's lost his touch (see Doug Kass for the view of Warren as out of touch). I mean, come on, what an overpay; it must be because he doesn't want his heir apparents fooling around with the cash.

Oh, and just because Hyatt got a huge premium doesn't mean that Four Seasons would do well if it were to come public again. Right?

Best for last: We will give up every bit of this short-covering rally when we see the jobs number.

Look, come on, I am trying.

How do the bears deal with this day? Turn off the TV? Nah, they come in with short-selling futures guns blazing at 2:43 p.m. in order to feign that they know the employment number (remember when Goldman Sachs opined ahead of it? But then again, they also blew the GDP number) or that they actually want to be short.

Delicious to be never wrong. Even if you are getting clobbered! Oh, hey, don't forget, all that matters is the long-term anyway!

At the time of publication, Cramer was long Goldman Sachs, Bank of Amerixa and Wells Fargo.

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Jim Cramer is co-founder and chairman of TheStreet.com. He contributes daily market commentary for TheStreet.com's sites and serves as an adviser to the company's CEO. Outside contributing columnists for TheStreet.com and RealMoney.com, including Cramer, may, from time to time, write about stocks in which they have a position. In such cases, appropriate disclosure is made. To see his personal portfolio and find out what trades Cramer will make before he makes them, sign up for Action Alerts PLUS. Watch Cramer on "Mad Money" weeknights on CNBC. To order Cramer's newest book -- "Jim Cramer's Stay Mad for Life: Get Rich, Stay Rich (Make Your Kids Even Richer)," click here. Click here to order "Mad Money: Watch TV, Get Rich," click here to order "Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World," click here to get "You Got Screwed!" and click here for Cramer's autobiography, "Confessions of a Street Addict." While he cannot provide personalized investment advice or recommendations, he appreciates your feedback and invites you to send comments by clicking here.

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