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Commentary: Wrong! Rear Echelon Revelations *New* Alerts! Please click here... 
This volatility stuff really has me steamed. We don't need euphemisms on Wall Street. It isn't like we didn't see the game, and it was really terrible, and you don't want to hurt our feelings. It is more like we are living through a tsunami and someone keeps trying to call it a summer wind. Where did this kind of gibberish come from? It comes from copy editors who think that the people are stupid. It comes from the brokers who want to put hope back into the equation, because, after all volatility implies that it is going up as much as it is going down, and we know from Nazz 5000 that's not going to fly.
We see a lot of this kind of baby talk on Wall Street. When an analyst doesn't want to affect a stock with a number cut, the person "trims" an estimate. Half the time a chainsaw metaphor would be more accurate, but you can't get these guys to go there. When someone wants to soften a downgrade, he says we are "adjusting" our position on National Gift to a more moderate outperformance category. "Less enthusiastic" is about as mean as these guys want to get. Now that the people have seen the market's less-than-gentle downside, it is time to drop the "volatility." Save that for when it goes up and down and up again and ends up at the same place. Nazz 2200 is not the same place as Nazz 5000. James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to send comments on his column to James J. Cramer .
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