Buzz and Batch Meet the Press

You could hear them shrieking with laughter all the way down the hall. I am talking about Buzz and Batch , of course, regaling themselves after the fanatically positive Q&A with them in Barron's this weekend. You see they managed to make 8% that last day of the quarter through various markups and other shenanigans and that put them near the top of the heap in their "hyper-aggressive growth category." Of course, Barron's called them immediately, as did the Journaland CNBC. So begins a week-long interview-fest with these two know-nothing jokers. I caught them reading a snippet of the interview while I was getting a bagel this morning. Listen in.

Barron's: So to what do you attribute your greatness this quarter? Stock-picking ability, market savvy or just plain old brilliance?

Buzz: Actually, it is just hard work. Poring over annuals. Studying 10-Ks. Going to trade conferences. Staying close with management. A lot of hard work.

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Batch: Buzz is being too modest. We work every night here until 10, 11 and then we work weekends. We are about hard work.

Barron's: How did you do it? Did you stick with the winners and weed out the losers?

Buzz: Some of it was that, clearly. But most of it was knowing which technologies would win. Our firm grasp of the optical business helped. As well as a recognition that class-five switches would stay strong.

Batch: Yeah, Buzz is a stickler for class-five switches. He tests them in his home office. He also knows all about fiber channel vs. Ethernet. That's his core competency.

Buzz: Ah shucks, Buzz, you are giving away the trade secrets. But I admit to being a real telco buff.

(At the word "buff," these guys were rolling around on the floor, pounding their fists and hysterically crying out loud. Looked like some sort of inside joke.)

Barron's: Care to share any picks in that sector?

Buzz: It is fair to say that we do proprietary work on the area, but I like a lot of the names in the sector.

Batch: We love the sector, in particular we like some of the recently brought-down stocks like Brio (BRIO:Nasdaq - news - boards) and Harmonic (HLIT:Nasdaq - news - boards).

(At that point, Buzz and Batch stopped reading the interview and Batch grabbed the phone and shouted, "Offer 100,000 BRIO and HLIT, a point up. We humped them in Barron's and now we have a chance to get out of them!"You gotta love those guys!! )

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James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at [e-mail].