This Market Makes Buzz Cranky!

 

These are tough markets, so it's time to get tough. For Buzz and Batch that means talking tough to the people who matter the most, the promoters and the managements, the folks they need when things go awry. I can't believe these guys let me in yesterday, but they wanted to vent to someone before they adjourned to Privilege for a nightcap with the consortium of hot mutual fund managers who are now struggling because of this tough tape.

Cramer: How's it going, Buzz? You don't seem like yourself.

Buzz: No &*(%&* kidding. We got pancaked by QLogic (QLGC). I could kill those guys. We had been walking the stock up for days, we were close to a break-out, and now, whoosh, right back down because of this stupid Ancor (ANCR) buy.

Cramer: I don't get it. Why would a deal like that upset you?

Batch: Cramer, you are dumb as plywood, Louisiana Pacific grade-A plywood.

Buzz: Take it easy Batch, Cramer doesn't know how these new markets work, but he is still out there trying, unlike Julian and George.

Batch: Sorry, Cram-it. Rough day.

Buzz: You see, what we like to do is we walk a stock up by taking offerings every day, get the daytraders on board, and then when the chart is about to go positive, we do a big blitzkrieg to take it to a breakout, get every market-maker short and then we offer the stock.

Batch: Yeah, it's kind of like sculpture. We craft the chart. We had crafted a terrific one with this QLogic and then they had to go blow it up.

Cramer: Let's forget the technicals for a second. What do you think of the deal?

Buzz: I got on the conference call and read them the darned riot act. I was screaming at them. And then I had to call all of the analysts and threaten them with commission cutbacks if they didn't reiterate their buys. Heck I was playing defense all day.

Cramer: Did you succeed?

Batch: You didn't see any ^*$&$& downgrades, did you? Did you? I think we leveraged those commissions just fine.

Cramer: Did the deal make sense?

Buzz: Of course not, the stock went down. A good deal is where the stock goes up, not down.

Cramer: No, I meant from the point of view of switches, did QLogic strengthen its product line with the buy?

Buzz: (Looks at Batch. Shrugs shoulders. Batch shrugs shoulders back.) You mean does it help them make Logics better or Qs, or whatever? I mean like, that's way too granular for what we do. Investors don't want us knowing that stuff. That's not what this game is about anymore. That's the old days. Good riddance.

Batch: You know Cramer, you are starting to really bug me with this fundamental fundamentals stuff. Like it is something you need to know or something. How did you do last year? Huh? Huh? And in '98 we smoked you, smoked you big time.

Cramer: Actually, I have a good long-term memory.

Batch: (Jumps up.) So did Soros, so did Roberston, so did Buffett.

Buzz: : Look Jimmy, we gotta run. Long day. Tough day. Almost as bad as a couple of days we had in the summer of 1998. At times like this we have to reach back to our three-year record and remember that we always come through in the end. We always come through, cause, well, Buzz does!

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James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at jjcletters@thestreet.com.

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