The Final Plot

With this piece Buzz Gould and Batch Hammer take their leave for a while as they don't want to overstay their welcome.

Buzz: That's enough with the Akamai (AKAM), Batch, you've taken it up enough. Now I just need you to stay underneath. You've added a good 3% to the fund with some of your sloppiest markup work ever!

Batch: Thanks, Buzz. I'm working the ITWO (ITWO) and the Tibco Software (TIBX) like you said, as I told my two brokers that I want the stocks up 20 by 3 p.m. I am not going to mark up in the last hour just in case the Federales pay a call.

(Puts on tape of "Higher and Higher" by Jackie Wilson, and high-fives the Buzzman.)

Buzz: Batchman, what's the deal with Lycos (LCOS)? I saw you take that up 10 at the opening. What a *$*%! waste of firepower!

Batch: Buzzy, that wasn't me, that was two other guys in the buying coalition you set up at Scores the other night. They got their stocks crossed. The first guy was supposed to take up ICOS (ICOS), the second guy had LCOS (LCOS). No matter, we got 'em all going.

Buzz: Batch-o-roonie my-man, what is with Viant (VIAN)? Can't you give that puppy a push?!? We need that sucker much higher!

Batch: Nope, couple of real sellers out there, Buzz-mo. Forget it. It's gonna get Sorosed, man, like Tigger (Tiger fund), if you know what I mean. Hey Buzz? What happens Monday when all of our artificial buying is over? What do we do then?

Buzz: Oh my, Batch my boy, what are you smokin' over there? How can you go long-term on me like this? Don't start thinking about tomorrow. Anyway, we will have moved our performance up these last two days enough that we will be able to call the usual media suspects, get the numbers on TV and get more in. Then we have a whole month to make back the losses!

Batch: I love you, man!

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Editor's Note: Confused as to what Buzz and Batch are up to? Check out this earlier installment in The Buzz Beat series.

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