The Year in Dumbness: A Quiz

1. E for Egregious

On Sept. 25, 2002, salesman Jimmy Luu of Houston's Microcache Computers bid $44,000 of his boss' money for a stainless steel tilted "E" sculpture at an Enron ENRNQ bankruptcy auction. Upon being named the winning bidder, Luu explained to reporters, "He said, 'Just do anything to get it.'"

Two months later, what was Luu doing?

• Collecting unemployment. Microcache's president, furious that Luu had gone more than $30,000 over the predicted selling price for the "E," fired Luu a day after the auction.

• Getting dunned. Luu -- who once won $16,000 on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire -- had fabricated the tale of his boss and his job. Enron's bankruptcy trustee hired a collection agency to go after Luu when his check for the "E" bounced.

• Writing a book. Luu's experience, and notoriety, won him a contract to write a guide to stock bubble collectibles.

• Spending more money. He bid on a second "E" at a second auction, but dropped out once the bidding went over $10,000.

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2. You Know, a Lot Can Change in Five Years

Who, in 1997, told The Wall Street Journal, "I like to avoid costs wherever I can in the company," adding that his company "would never pay $90 million to an outrageously successful executive -- never mind a failed one"?

Just a Loan

• Jack Welch, General Electric GE
  
  
• Dennis Kozlowski, Tyco International TYC
  
  
• John J. Rigas, Adelphia Communications ADELQ
  
  
• Jeffrey Skilling, Enron

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3. How High the Dow?

Eyeing the Dow

Just to refresh your memory, the Dow Jones Industrial Average began 2002 at about 10,000, peaked at 10,673 in March, then slid down from there. Recently, the Dow has traded in the vicinity of 8450, down nearly 16% for the year.

A year ago, Prudential Financial strategist Robert Stovall was predicting the Dow would hit 12,000 by this year's end. But why single out one errant prognosticator? When Business Week polled 54 market strategists last year as to where the Dow would end up in 2002, what was the consensus forecast?

• Up 26%
  
• Up 13%
  
• Break-even
  
• Down 32%

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4. I Pitt the Fool

Well, 2002 was certainly the year of Harvey Pitt's discontent. Appointed chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission last year, Wall Street's top cop quickly slid from hero to zero.

It's hard to pinpoint a single reason why. Maybe it was his suggestion that his post be promoted to a cabinet-level position. Maybe it was his reluctance to share information with his fellow commissioners about Public Accounting Oversight Board nominee William Webster.

Or maybe it was an inexplicable lapse in the loyalty for which Washington, D.C., is so renowned. To illustrate: Which of the following statements did Senate Banking Committee member Charles Schumer (D., N.Y.) not make about Pitt?

• "The SEC desperately needs someone who both has a deep knowledge of how the markets function and at the same time possesses a rock-ribbed integrity. [Harvey Pitt] is such a man."

• "He is well-described as a Zeus in his field."

• "Like [Winston] Churchill, he is a man for his times."

• "He, unfortunately, was the wrong man at the wrong time."

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5. Try to Remember What Went On in September

What happened at 9 a.m. Eastern time on Tuesday, Sept. 3, 2002?

• Victimized by a hoaxster, PR Newswire issued a fake press release announcing Barbra Streisand was joining the board of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia MSO.

• The usually public-relations-savvy and image-conscious Martha Stewart appeared on CBS' The Early Show, hacking away at a head of cabbage with a large knife while fending off questions about her sale of stock in ImClone Systems IMCL.

• Scott Sullivan, WorldCom's WCOEQ former chief financial officer, pleaded innocent to charges of securities fraud.

• The 92nd St. Y Nursery School -- the object of desire for Salomon Smith Barney analyst Jack Grubman -- launched its application process for the 2003-04 school year.

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