The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

4. Book Learning

More Emissions on MCI Verizon CEO Seidenberg (below) slaps Qwest

The battle for MCI (MCIP Quote) has spilled out of the boardroom -- and into the library.

MCI, the Ashburn, Va., long-distance telco, has been in play since Denver-based Qwest Communications (Q Quote) made overtures last month. MCI subsequently chose an inferior bid from a stronger company, Verizon Communications (VZ Quote) -- setting off a wicked war of words between the two bidders and some MCI shareholders.

Last week the telcos traded barbs over the value of their respective merger proposals, and the market yawned. Not to be dissuaded, though, the companies' hard-charging CEOs were back at it this week.

Qwest chief Dick Notebaert questioned MCI's reticence to continue talks, saying, "The straw man being propped up to explain why MCI won't continue what has been a fruitful exchange of information with Qwest is that MCI's merger agreement with Verizon prohibits any discussions with Qwest." He questioned MCI's decision to "go dark" on talks. (Late Wednesday the companies resumed their discussions, with Verizon's blessing.)

We have to hand it to Verizon head Ivan Seidenberg, though. A week after he said Qwest's $8 billion bid for MCI didn't "pass a common sense test," Seidenberg was back at it. This time, he said of Qwest's improved $8.5 billion offer, "We have analyzed Qwest's synergy claims and believe the presentation might be more appropriately considered in the category of Modern Fiction."

He isn't called Ivan the Terrible for nothing.

5. Big Money

We know Wal-Mart (WMT Quote) wants to improve its image, but let's not get carried away.

The world's biggest retailer grabbed the headlines last Friday by settling a federal suit. The company agreed to pay $11 million to settle Homeland Security Department claims that it used hundreds of illegal immigrants as janitors.

The Bentonville, Ark., retail giant neither admitted nor denied the charges. "No criminal charges filed against company or its associates," the company emphasized in its press release. Still, the fine sets a record in a civil immigration case, Homeland Security said.