Cramer's 'Mad Money' Recap: How to Get the Most Out of the Show

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"Tonight's show is devoted entirely to teaching all of you the best way to watch 'Mad Money' and the right and wrong things to take away from different segments -- the most valuable stuff" -- Jim Cramer told viewers of his TV show Monday.

"I'm not a genie in a bottle who can grant you instant wealth, but I'm not just a sad clown who sips cheap scotch on his dirty linoleum floor either," he said. "I can't make you rich. I am here to give you advice."

Cramer said he has a lot of experience with the market, and he's not ashamed to say that he's great at picking stocks and understanding the market. "I think I'm a great teacher," he said. "What I'm not is your financial dictator."

In a given week Cramer said he might recommend a dozen stocks, excluding the ones in the "Lightning Round." But just because Cramer says he likes a stock, doesn't mean that viewers should go out and buy it.

Nor does it mean that if people buy that stock they will absolutely, positively make lots of money, Cramer said. "That's not how this game works."

While he'll be right more often than he is wrong, "any decent money manager knows that you're going to have some losers," he said. "This is especially true if you're running a diversified portfolio, which you absolutely must do."