The release of the new movie adaptation of the Cat in the Hat led me to the following epiphany: Dr. Seuss was a bear.
Not the kind of bear he created in his classic Hop On Pop, but the kind that sells high and buys low. The kind that wishes ill will on the market, and finds salvation -- and profits -- when his wish comes true. The kind of Grinch that steals Christmas to achieve his own personal growth. The kind that pesters a health-conscious individual like Sam-I-Am until he reluctantly sucks down a plate of artery-clogging green eggs and ham. Just consider the bearish philosophies coming to a theater near you: Kids are safe and peaceful at home, Cat arrives, trashes the place, scares the kids to death, Cat cleans up his mess and leaves with a smile. How could research analysts have missed this while studying for their CFAs? So in honor of Dr. Seuss, the Cat in The Hat, and short-sellers of all ages, I polled the three active bear fund managers (there's only three out there) to answer the question: Is 2003 just a year to forget for bear funds, or if there is hope for a Dr. Seussian ending?


