The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

5. Who's Nuts

Sirius (SIRI - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr) will do anything to hog the limelight.

The New York-based satellite-radio outfit continues to clash with rival XM Satellite (XMSR - Cramer's Take - Stockpickr). XM's shares are down 51% this year and Sirius' are off 39%, as investors wonder whether the cash-burning broadcasters will ever turn an actual profit. But the decline has hardly reduced tensions between the companies, which earlier this year found themselves jockeying for position over their quarterly earnings.

The fierce competition was highlighted by Thursday's Credit Suisse upgrade of Washington-based XM. Analyst Bryan Kraft boosted his rating to outperform and maintained his $17 price target, citing XM's decision to reduce user-growth targets "to achievable levels."

Actually, lots of different levels appear to be achievable for XM, going by Kraft's comments. "Our analysis," he wrote, "yields a wide range of outcomes yielding stock prices of $9 to $37." Even so, XM shares surged 8% to $13.47.

Sirius may have felt left out, with its shares rising just 4 cents Thursday to $4.07. But the company bounced back by announcing a plan to launch a 24-hour-a-day channel dedicated to The Who. "The pioneering British rock band has reached a new level in its storied career," Sirius said in a press release, and the aging rockers were quick to agree.

"This is the most exciting thing I can imagine," said The Who's Pete Townshend. "I'm completely revved about this."

Speak for yourself, Pete.

Dumb-o-Meter score: 80. "Who's serious about Sirius?" Townshend ponders. "You bet."

To watch Colin Barr's video take of this column, click here.