The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

2. Virtuous Verizon

Consumers have a loyal friend in Verizon (VZ).

The big New York telco sounded a clarion call this week on behalf of beleaguered Internet users. Verizon urged the industry to "come together in addressing emerging broadband concerns that customers really care about."

Helpfully, Verizon then rattled off the concerns. They include Net access, privacy and security, and intellectual property protection.

But speaking Tuesday in Aspen, Colo., Verizon policy chief Tom Tauke saved some of his strongest words for what he called "overly burdensome taxation." Citing no figures, Tauke claimed telecom's state and local tax burden more than doubles that of other businesses. This "regressive tax increase on every user" crushes fragile demand for crucial services, he said.

"Today in some states, taxes on cell phones exceed that of liquor and tobacco," Tauke moaned. "That's just not right."

What is right, apparently, is what Verizon does when one of those hated government fees expires. Take the Federal Universal Service Fund fee, which is being phased out this month for digital subscriber line, or DSL, customers.

The demise of that fee should save Verizon broadband subscribers between $1.25 and $2.83 a month. But standing up once more for the little guy, Verizon will replace the government surcharge with one of its own.

The new supplier surcharge of $1.20 to $2.70 a month "is not a government imposed fee or a tax," concedes an Aug. 18 email from the always helpful Verizon Online Broadband Customer Care Team. Instead, the money is going to a far more worthwhile cause: "It is intended to help offset costs we incur from our network supplier in providing Verizon Online DSL service."

Nothing regressive about that.

Dumb-o-Meter score: 91. In a touching sign of telecom solidarity, BellSouth (BLS) pledged to do the same thing.